My New Adventure

I have been struggling with my weight since I was 10 years old. I remember losing weight my freshman year in college because my boyfriend broke up with me and I was a wreak. But once I got over it, I gained it back...plus 40 lbs. I hit 160lbs and felt horrible. So I joined WW and lost it. That is when I meet Rob. I kept the weight off while we dated. After we got married and got pregnant....I went a little crazy with the eating for two thing. I gained 60lbs and had pregancy health issues (gestatinal Diabetes and High blood pressure). It took me a year before I got busy to lose that weight. But I finally did. I was 40lbs down and all set to keep losing when I got pregnant again. This time I gained 40lbs. But again had gestational Diabetes.

So now here I am 2 years and 3 months after Emalee was born and I have lost nothing. I have horrible body image. I hate that I have been so weak. I hate that I keep saying I am going to do it and never do. I hate that I feel like I can not eat what I want without feeling quilty. I feel bad that this is the body image I am giving to my daughters.

I also am now diabetic.

So I am at my breaking point.

I have looked into the Lap Band Surgery. I have seen the surgeon. I have had my psych consult (and was told I was the easiest consult ever! and passed). I have the six months of "trying" because I have been paying for WW online forever! I was all set. I would have had the surgery right then, but I had one more step. I had to see the dietitain for pre surgery diet plan and the Post surgery diet and the lifetime diet. And that is when it hit me. I was really thinking about surgery to lose weight. Why was I not counting points to the T and working out like crazy. I mean that diet plan SCARED ME! I don't think I can do it, but I think it scares me enough. I had that appointment on a Thursday. I went to the new Points plus Weight Watchers meeting on Saturday.

So Weight Watchers and me....we are now best friends. I lost 2 lbs the first weeks. Then of course put them on over Christmas...but then lost them again. So I am back on track after the holidays. And I am going to follow it to the T. Because surgery scares me. But being unhealthy scares me more.

My friend Nina was complaining about her clothes not fitting. So I talked her into joining WW with me. We are together daily. So I thought she would be a perfect buddy!

And Rob's coworker and my friend Crystal has offered to run, walk, lift weights, XC ski, do anything with me. She is super active. So I might have to take her up on it.

So I have rambled on.

This blog. Why am I here? This blog is going to be about me and my hardwork. My ups and downs. My hardships. My sucesses! I am going to use this as a second form of accountabilty. As a journal. And when I reach my goal...my reflection on the process. I hope to print the blog into a book and keep it as a reminder of how hard it is to get on track...so I never go back.

So here it is...my Weight loss Journey! Hope you enjoy it!

(and I will work on making the blog prettier, I promise!)